I'm so sorry Lily
by TheAngelofIego
Summary: In life Lily's love story didn't end with happily ever after. But now Severus is with her again, will death be better then life?


I do not own Harry Potter, he belong to our queen J.K. Rowling.

Thirty-eight year old Severus Snape lay dying on the floor of The Shrieking Shack, blood poring from the two small holes in his burning neck. Voldemort had sent his snake Nagini after him before leaving him to die his slow, painful death alone. Severus was no stranger to pain, he had suffered though different kinds of pain. Abuse. Teasing. Loneliness. Even heartbreak. He could only remember around five years of his life were the pain was almost bearable, they were the years when he had his dear friend Lily Evens at his side. Even now the image of her emerald green eyes and dark red hair made his physical pain seem almost bearable. God how he missed her. He hadn't spoken to his former best friend since their fifth year at Hogwarts.

James Potter, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were humiliating him, in front of what seemed like the whole student body, by using his own spell against him. They had him dangling upside-down in the air. When Lily came to his defense he was so overcome with embarrassment and anger that he lashed out on her, calling her a 'filthy little Mudblood.' Those three words had ruined his whole life. They made him lose not only his best and only friend and the girl he loved more then life, but also the small hope that she would ever love him back.

The sound of the door opening snapped him back to the painful reality. He was dying. Pain ripped though him as he looked to see who was coming over to him. Before him now stood The-Boy-Who-Lived, Lily's son, Harry Potter. The young Gryffindor looked at the older Slytherin with a deep sadness in his green eyes, Lily's eyes.

"Professor." the boy said as he fell to his knees beside him.

"Take…it…Take…it" Severus said, taking a vile of memories from his robes and handing it to Harry. He could feel his life coming to an end and was overcome with the need to see Lily's eyes one last time. He looked back up at Harry, pain flowing freely though his body.

"look…look at me" He did. The last two thoughts that ran though his head were of lily and her eyes. Then it all went black.

He could tell that there was a blinding light on the other side of his eyelids. He was in Hell, he was sure of it. But he wasn't in pain anymore. He slowly opened his eyes and saw nothing but whiteness. So he was in Heaven. Then he heard it. A soft yet clear voice saying one word over and over again. No, not a word, a name, his name.

"Severus" she called again.

"I'm here.'' he called out to the distant female voice, hoping that she would call him again.

"Severus." she called again, sounding closer to him then the last time. And then she was there. He had to blink back the shock at what, or rather who, he was seeing. Lily, his beautiful Lily, was standing before him, a sad smile playing on her full lips.

"Hello Severus." she said, looking him right in his dark gray eyes.

"Lily." he said. His voice coming out weaker then he would have liked.

His breath caught in his throat when she started to walk closer to him, only stopping when her own body was mere inches from his own. His heart felt like it was trying to brake free of his rib cage. He was sure she could hear it. When she reached out her hand he was almost positive that she was going to slap him, but she did no such thing. Instead she placed her small, cool hand on his cheek, causing him to close his eyes and lean into her touch. When she moved her hand from his face and down to his chest his face felt cold.

"I've missed you so much Sev." she looked back up to his eyes.

"I've missed you too Lily. Not one day went by when I didn't miss you." he told her, placing his hand on top of the one on his chest, giving her a half smile. She smiled back and didn't pull away.

"I'm so sorry that we stopped talking Severus." she said, regret filling her beautiful eyes.

"what are you sorry for Lily? It was all my fault."

He saw a fire light behind her eyes and this time when she drew her hand back she did slap him.

"What was that for?" he asked, clearly confused about her sudden change in mood.

"Severus Tobias Snape don't you dare blame yourself for that! After all" she said, her voice softening.

"it was my fault too." It was then that the former Slytherin saw the deep hurt in her eyes.

"what happened Lily?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

"James" she said, tears filling her eyes.

"what about James, did he hurt you Lily?" His heart sank when she nodded.

"what did he do to you Lily?" She shook her head, her red hair moving around on her shoulders.

"I can't say." she told him.

"can I look?" he asked.

"yes." As soon as she said this he dove into her mind. It didn't take long for him to find what he was looking for.

*_Lily sat alone by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room once again rethinking her fight with Severus. It was almost the end of their seventh year and she still couldn't get it, or him, out of her mind. Over the last summer she found out why. She, Lily Evens, was in love with Severus Snape. She was shaking out of her thoughts about how to tell him before it was too late by the sound of someone coming down the stares. She looked over to see who it was and saw James Potter coming over to her much faster then she would have liked. He was mad. Really mad. He now stood in fount of her, his eyes blazing. _

_"Lily." there was something in his voice that she had never heard before, all she knew was that it scared her. _

_"I'm done with asking you to go out with me." _

_'good' she thought, 'now he'll leave me alone' that hope died with what he said next._

_"So I'm just going to take what I want." Then he jumped on her._*

Severus pulled himself out of her mind.

"Lily, I didn't know." He told her, tears coming to his eyes.

"Keep looking." she told him.

"I don't know if I can, Lily." He told her.

"Please. I need you to know." He did as she asked.

*_Lily was laying on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room. She was bleeding all over and shaking with fear. She had just been raped by one of the few guys that she had ever called a friend. Her dress was torn at the top, leaving her breasts barely covered. James leaned over her._

_"If you tell anyone one about this I'll make you wish you had never been born you flithy Mudblood. Do you understand?" He hissed in her ear. _

_"Ye…Yes" She said, her voice as shaky as her body. _

_"good." Then he was gone. _

_Three weeks later she found that she was pregnant. When she told James he reacted violently. He gave her a black eye and called her a whore, before making her live with him. Telling everyone who asked that they were married _*

Once again Severus pulled himself out of her mind.

"Lily." was all he could get out before he pulled her to him and hugged her. He let her cry into his shirt as he cried into her hair. He had lived with the hope that she was happy with James, only to find out now that she had been in a living Hell.

"I'm so sorry Lily. My sweet Lily."

"It wasn't your fault Sev. It was mine." She sobbed.

"Don't say that Lily, if anyone is to blame it's Potter, he was the one that did that to you."

After a few long minutes he spook again.

"Why didn't you tell me Lily?" he asked.

"I thought that you would hate me for letting him do that to me." she said, her voice still thick with tears.

"I could never even think about hatting you Lily." He told her, holding her tighter and kissing the top of her head. When she stopped crying he pulled back so he could see her face.

"Lils." he said, cupping her face in his hands.

"I should have told this back in our fourth year. I love you. And nothing can change that." A wide grin overtook her face.

"I love you too, Sev." Then their lips met in a soft but long kiss. When they pulled away Lily took his hand in her own smaller one.

"Follow me?" she asked, giving him a smile.

"Always" he told her.

And as the two of them walked hand in hand only on thought ran though his mind. Dying was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Well there you go! please reviwe and tell me what you think!


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